A space to let your birth story be heard, and to find the right support.
Your Birth Story
Every birth carries immense power.
Birth marks a profound shift into motherhood. And sometimes that transformation is hard. Even a birth with a safe outcome can leave an imprint that feels heavy, complex, or difficult to process.
Perhaps during the birth of your child, choices were made without your input. Perhaps your body responded in ways you were not prepared for. Perhaps the birth you envisioned shifted or dissolved, without anyone acknowledging what that meant for you.
Birth trauma is not defined by what happened, but by how it was felt. Research is clear that a meaningful number of women experience their birth as traumatic, and that being heard and finding the right support genuinely helps. When a birth story stays with you, replaying quietly, returning at unexpected moments, harder to speak of than you expected, it deserves to be heard.
“It’s not easy to hear. But we need to say it. Birth can be distressing sometimes. So much so, it’s traumatising.”Dr Rebecca Moore, Co-founder, Make Birth Better
How we can help
To recognise it, and to point you toward real help
At Birth & Mother we are trained through Make Birth Better as a Champion, with a focus on recognising birth grief and trauma and helping families find the right professional support when they need it. We are not therapists, and this is not treatment. What we offer is the gentle work of naming what you are carrying, and making sure you know the doors that are open to you in Germany.
My own births taught me that how we feel about them can shape us long after the day itself. I carried things I could not name at the time. Understanding that is why this matters to me, and why the most useful thing we can do here is help you reach the people who are trained to walk with you.
– With love, Emma
You are not alone
These feelings are common, and support exists
Your birth did not go as planned: an emergency caesarean, an induction you did not want, interventions that felt out of your control.
You feel a sense of loss or grief around your birth experience, even though your baby is healthy.
You replay moments from your birth and feel anger, sadness, or confusion that has not eased with time.
People around you have told you to be grateful, to move on, or that all that matters is a healthy baby, and it has not helped.
You are considering another pregnancy and the thought of giving birth again brings fear or dread rooted in your previous experience.
You simply need someone to listen to your birth story without judgement, without rushing, and without trying to fix it.
If any of this is familiar, the support below is for you. There is no timeline, and it is never too late.
Where to turn
Finding the right support in Germany
Help for a hard birth is real and reachable here, and much of it is available in English or with an interpreter. Start with whichever feels closest to hand.
Your birth team, for a Nachbesprechung
Most hospitals offer a debrief (Nachbesprechung or Nachgespräch) where the team walks you through the decisions made during your birth. You are entitled to ask for this, however long ago your birth was.
Your midwife (Hebamme)
Your postnatal midwife is there for how the birth felt, not only for your body and your baby. If you no longer have one, the Deutscher Hebammenverband can help you find one near you.
Specialist perinatal support
Schatten und Licht e.V. supports women through emotional crises around birth, with contacts across Germany. To find a psychotherapist through the statutory system, the appointment service 116117 can help.
In English
Here in Germany, pro familia’s English service offers confidential counselling, and Schatten und Licht has an English version of its site. For reading and coping tools, Make Birth Better gathers clear, evidence-based information on birth trauma.
If you need to talk right now
Telefonseelsorge is anonymous and at no charge, day or night, on 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222.
When the loss is the story
Loss and miscarriage are birth stories too
Not every pregnancy ends with a baby in your arms. A miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a stillbirth, a loss at any stage: these are births too, and the stories they leave behind deserve the same unhurried space to be heard and held.
These organisations here in Germany are there for you:
- Initiative Regenbogen, a nationwide network for parents after miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss around birth, with contacts across the country.
- VEID – Verwaiste Eltern, the national federation for bereaved parents and siblings, with regional groups across Germany.
- pro familia, for confidential counselling at no charge across Germany, with an English service.
Our fuller note on loss and the stories it leaves gathers more support, including groups that meet in English here in Germany. Your midwife (Hebamme) and your doctor are there for you as well, for as long as you need them.
Not sure where to start?
If your birth is sitting heavily and you are not sure who to turn to, reach out. We will listen, and help you find the right support where you are, at your own pace.
Reach out